A Pair of Dreams

Waking up this morning, Joseph mentioned that he had spent most of the night dreaming. In one of them, specifically he was in the army, but overall, kind of a stressful dream. After Joseph had left the room, while I was sitting at my desk, Caleb running down the hall, "Mom, I had a dream! Where are you?" When he found me, he asked me to snuggle in bed with him so he could tell me his dream. "I dreamed I was in the ARMY!"

I am NOT making this up. Both of my men dreamed of being in the army last night. I am surrounded by warriors.

"I was a bowman and I pulled my arrow back like this to shoot this bad guy and he said, 'Don't shoot me!' cause he was a 'fraidy cat. But that's when the dream got bad." I asked him how and this was his reply, "They told us we couldn't shoot at the bad guys anymore. That was no fun."

On Barking Abe

Abe was barking out the upstairs hall window. As is my habit, I came to see if it was justified. I asked, "what are you barking at, Abe?"

From behind Caleb's closed bedroom door, I heard, "I don't know what Abe is barking at BUT IT'S STARTLING ME!"

On Why Pants Were Designed as They Are

"Mom, I just thought of something." Caleb called up to me from downstairs, having finished using the bathroom.

"Maybe the reason they made pants to close [in the front, zipper/snap] is so dogs won't lick your buns. I was remembering when he [Abe] did that a few weeks ago."

Could He Be Mocking His Dad?!?

Joseph was lamenting that the kitchen was such a mess again so soon after he had spent too long getting it all shiny clean last Saturday. Caleb suggested that he just clean it up again if he was so troubled by it. Joseph pointed out that time constraints were somewhat of an issue with this solution. Ever helpful, Caleb offered that Joseph could just get up SUPER extra early the next morning. Joseph wondered why exactly he would want to do that.

"So that you can clean up your PRECIOUS [dramatically emphasized] kitchen, of course."

When He Was Younger

We were at the fair admiring 23 day old piglets. A gentleman (presumably their farmer-owner) pulled one out of the pen so that people could pet it if they wanted to. Considering the fact that Caleb has listened to the audio version of E.B. White's Charlotte's Web probably well over 100 times, it seemed logical for Joseph to ask, "Do you wanna go pet the baby pig?"

Caleb: "I'm not that kind of boy nowadays. I was when I was younger."

I think the expression on his face, not to mention the hands on his hips, perhaps capture the kind of boy he IS nowadays?

Nerve Jamming

Joseph was listening to something pretty rockin' while working in the kitchen.

Mom: "Caleb, what's this psychotic music Daddy is listening to?" ;)

Caleb [uninterested]: "I dunno."

Mom: "Does it fit the rage in your brain?"

Caleb: "Naybe."

No, that is NOT a typo. This is one of the words that Caleb still mispronounces that we love too much to correct.

A Mover and Shaker

Caleb loves to listen to the news on the radio. Today we happened to be hearing about fast food workers on strike, related to wages. I had no doubt Caleb was tracking with the story when he offered the following:

"Maybe I'll start something when I'm a man. Maybe I'll start something ABOUT PROTESTS."

Maybe you will, son. Somehow, I will not be at all surprised. I only hope you have gotten your marching orders from Jesus.

Towel, Please?

Upon getting out of the shower, Caleb announced, "I'm a fat saliva."

I'm pretty is was just his way of describing that he was cold and needing to dry off.

True Hunter

We've had a problem with a mouse (or, as it turns out, MICE) in our kitchen (office, etc.). Caleb was eager to be a part of setting the traps and not surprisingly then also the CHECKING of said traps.

It took three days but finally: success.

I don't remember who commented on the mouse's feet looking cute but the follow up response from Caleb was:

"Can we cut them (or maybe it was 'him') and hang them (or 'him') on my door?"

Miscellaneous Quotes without Specific Context

"...that's when most schedules of robbing happen..."

"If I don't have kids, I'll be a police officer. If I do I'll be a soldier."

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be the President."

"I think I'll shoot anybody if I have a gun."

I'm sorry, I imagine the context might help make more sense of some of these. All of these were spoken by Caleb in the course of conversations we were having.

Establishing the Rules of the Game

For our activity of the day together, a Bubble War was on the agenda. We have these battery operated bubble guns and so Caleb explained to me how it was going to work:

"If you touch a bubble, you get popped. STICK THIS IN YOUR BRAIN: we each have NINE LIVES."

Thoughts During Abe's Visit to the Vet

We had just dropped off Abe, our 9 month old, purebred Standard Poodle at the vet for his appointment to be neutered. Caleb was lamenting how quiet the house would be while he was gone, and how lonely it would be without him around. After only 6 months, he really has become part of the family.

I had pointed out that it would be so quiet we would find ourselves wondering, "Oh no, what has Abe gotten into?"

Caleb's response, "Now he won't be into anything, he'll be INTO MEDICINE!"

What Kind of Animal Would YOU Be? And Why?

Caleb: "I wish I was a hedgehog so I could roll up in a ball...and be all PRICKLY!"

Mom: "So people would leave you alone or not touch you?"

Caleb: "No. So that I didn't have to WALK! [bummed] But my legs aren't that FLEXIBLE."

Childhood Wonder

When asked why he didn't come get me IMMEDIATELY upon discovering that the toilet he had flushed was literally overflowing onto the bathroom floor, this was his response, "I was just so AMAZED! I have never actually seen a potty flood. I've heard about it but I've never SEEN it in my lifetime."

Fair enough, I can't really blame him for that one, then. :)

Pondering Presidential Names

We had finished watching National Treasure 2 and he had been asking me to identify the President depicted in that movie. Somehow that got him thinking about our current president and this is what he said, "How come the other [presidents] don't have those terrible names like 'Obama'?" After some further thinking, "I wonder if his Mom ever...[pause]...what DOES 'Obama' MEAN?!?"

I explained that we refer to our presidents by their last name but then, that didn't really help much as I reminded him of our current president's first name. :( And he still was just really fixated on wanting to know the meaning of the name OBAMA.

Personally, I would really love to know the rest of that question about his Mom!

He'll tell you straight to your nose...er, I mean, face.

[referring to a Breathe Right strip] "Take off the nose thing for sleeping. You don't look like a real dad. You look like a guy who had surgery on his nose."

Locks of...Decor?

During some Saturday morning snuggles, we were noticing how desperately Caleb is in need of a visit to his barber.

Joseph: "Look at this beautiful mane. We're gonna get it all trimmed off."

Caleb: "Then we'll put it in a bag and we can decorate with it."

Perspective

Sitting in church a week ago, a mom with a very wee baby pulled her out of her sling and the baby gave a cry of protest. Hearing the sound at the same time as he saw her face, Caleb had this response:

"Aw, PRECIOUS!"

His Mama's heart just melted right then and there and prayed for God to give him his very own baby brother or sister in some miraculous way.

Vocabulary Learned from Audiobooks

Snuggling with Dad, who was slow in waking up, Caleb queried, "are you getting your bearings? I know what that means." He informed him he learned it from the Redwall series.

Assessing Floatation Devices

Caleb and I were at the swimming pool and he was about to grab a "noodle" to float around with. But taking one look at it, he tossed is aside, "this is NOT seaworthy."

Well, That Explains a LOT!

At dinner when Dad dropped a bite of food in his lap, Caleb burst out, "Haha, Dad spilled on himself! Haha!"

I said, "Caleb, you know this is a great context for you to learn about social skills."

"Social skills?! What are social skills, Mom?"

Right. Those.

Time for a New Ruler?

First thing this morning, Caleb suited up in his army gear for the second day in a row and headed outside to fight some backyard battles. After about half an hour or so, he came in and declared emphatically, "My reign over the land is done!"

Considering the Options

We were sitting at a traffic light, waiting for a left turn arrow light, less than five minutes from home, after an afternoon of running errands. I myself felt like we had been there longer than I would have expected, when Caleb voiced these thoughts:

"Can we go HOME, please? This is taking TOO long. I'm just gonna have to walk home. That's just what I'll have to do. Open this car door and start walking. I can't bear how long this is taking."

How Rude

Walking through Costco, Caleb made a comment which I thought was directed at me. A response seemed fitting, so I made one.

"Don't interrupt me, please...when I'm talking to myself."

Alrighty then.

Observations While Eating a Roaster Chicken

"I'm not going to eat the thigh. I don't like the thigh. It looks like a real thigh."

"Here, Dad, you can eat the veins."

"What kind of chickens do we eat? I mean do we eat the hens, or..."

"I like light meat just as well as dark meat. They're both the same, you know."

You Should Have Seen the Other Guy

"Look Mom. My face is a BLACK HOLE."

"A black hole? What does that mean?" (He wasn't wearing his glasses and his face was a bit flushed, with a big smile, but beyond that, I wasn't observing anything too unusual.)

"A black hole of PUNCHES!" This was said with PRIDE. I guess he wanted me to know he can take a hit and walk away smiling. That's my boy! :)

Can you say, stating the obvious?

"Did you know I'm talker? Talkers talk a lot. I'm a GOOD talker."

Channeling the Spirit of Carl Fredricksen*

We were out for a walk (Mom and Abe, the dog) and bike ride (Caleb and his buddy Toby). We had decided to leave the paved path by the river and see where the gravel trails would lead us. We encountered several forks in the trail and the question was always asked, "which way?" The boys would always decide on one and off we would go.

At one of these forks, Caleb decided for us, "this way looks like ADVENTURE and I'm always up for adventure!"

*Will he find his "Ellie"?

On Memory Loss

Elizabeth: "I don't remember you falling out of THAT inner tube."
Caleb: "Well, then it dropped out of your memory. To make room for other things because your memory doesn't have room for all the things you need to remember. MY memory has PLENTY of room for all the things I need to remember."

I think that's another way of saying, "Mom, you're getting old."

On the Usefulness of Women

Caleb asked me to save the swim shorts he was wearing so that he could pass them on some day to his son. A conversation followed in which he and Joseph were thinking ahead to the future and the make up of Caleb's family.
Caleb: "I hope I have BOYS."
Joseph: "You know you'll have to have a GIRL for that."
Caleb: "Yeah, I know. Why else would people get married?"
DUH.

A "Naughty" Little Monkey, and Always Very Curious*

Sitting down to dinner, a neighbor's car horn sounded. "Why are they honking at us?" wondered Caleb in annoyance?

Always trying to help him realize that not EVERYTHING revolves around him, we pointed out that just because someone honked, doesn't mean they are honking at us. In fact, they probably don't even realize we're here. "They might be curious about what we're doing, though." There always must be a contradiction. "Yeah, but not likely." "They would be if they were GEORGE!"

*Ever since Caleb first developed a deep affection for that little monkey, we have read that line of those stories, "This is George. George was a NAUGHTY little monkey and always very curious."

As Seen on TV

Awhile back Joseph and Caleb were talking about the return of Christ. Caleb commented that he was not ready for Christ to return because he still has things he wants to do. Joseph agreed, mentioning among other things that he wanted to have grandchildren and see what will become of Caleb's warrior spirit. To which Caleb replied, "Pfft! See it? You won't see it, you'll HEAR about it...on the NEWS! On TV." It seems he is willing to lay down his life for his country at a tender six years of age (yes, there was further explanation indicating this).

Powers Go Poof

On our way to go strawberry picking, Caleb expressed a desire to go blueberry picking again, too. I pointed out that Daddy might take him when I am at my annual Ladies of the Lake getaway in July, "if he can use his persuasive powers to get Uncle Arthur and the girls to go along with you."

"Daddy doesn't have POWERS!"

Then, after a brief pause for thought, "what does persuasive mean?"

"It means convincing. Is Daddy able to convince people to do things?"

"Yeah. But that's NOT a POWER!"

"Send it to other people on facebook!"

Evolution of a Vocubulary

Caleb: "What does 'INQUISITIVE' mean?"
Elizabeth: "Asking a question with a desire for knowledge."
Joseph added another similar explanation, including a definition of the word 'inquire.'
Caleb: "I WAS JUST DOING WHAT THAT MEANT!"

A Different Kind of Humility

Joseph has the opportunity to trade guitar lessons for piano lessons. We also have access to a long term loan of an electric keyboard. As we were setting it up in our dining room and enjoying the sounds of music, Joseph mused, "Every house should have a piano." Caleb, genuinely baffled, "Why?" Joseph, clarified, "Well, that's just my humble opinion."

"HUMBLE?!?" was Caleb's perfectly timed comeback. Now, it's up to you to decide whether he was simply thoroughly perplexed by the word, or...

What's Your Sign?

He hopped on my bed this morning and in a happy voice declared, "Mommy is the the star of the show! Mommy's the BRIGHTEST star of the show." "Caleb is the brightest star in my world." "No, I'm not." "What are you?"

"A DARK CLOUD!"

Don't Try This With Your Wife

I was making what I thought was a vitally important point to Caleb when he talked right over me and asked me about something totally unrelated.

[warning: true confessions]

At the top of my lungs I screamed at him, "THAT IS NOT OKAY!!!"

He just kind of looked at me, and then his lips started moving and I lowered my voice a bit and went on, "When you do that what it communicates you are thinking is, 'Mom's not a person...'"

Not even blinking, he just looked right at me and said, "No, I was thinking, 'Mom has hormones.'"


In the retelling of this to Daddy, Caleb was informed that what is funny and can "get you off the hook" at six, may not work so well for you when you are a grown man/husband. ;)

[Oh, and yes, I dissolved into laughter, pulled him onto my lap, apologized for shouting and told him he was spot on. But I also told him it might not always have that effect.]

Already a Cynic

"They love people." Observed Caleb as he listened to a commercial on the radio for a financial service (or something like that, I was only half paying attention).

"Why do they love people?" "Huh, weeell..." I was trying to come up with an explanation for this because I know he "gets" these things, when he says, "oh, they want you to buy something. That's why they say they love people. They want you to buy THEIR STUFF."

Snacks of a Different Sort

In the car on the way home from church, Joseph notices Caleb digging in his nose and says, "Caleb is looking for a snack."

Caleb, not missing a beat, comes back with, "looks like meatballs are on the menu...no, wait, it's watermelon."

This Conversation Just Happened in Our Kitchen

Caleb: "I wish I had a comb...for special editions.."
Elizabeth: "Occasions?"
Caleb:"Yeah, occasions...so girls would like me."

Joseph: "What?!?"
Caleb: "Yeah, so they're not: 'ooh, ooh, you're so stupid.'"
Joseph: "Does that happen?"
Caleb: "No, but I don't want it to."

Are you six or sixteen, Boy? Oh. Dear.

On Home Remedies

My knee had given out on me and I was stuck, lying on the floor with it in a rather distorted position. We had spent some time debating how to get me to the ER (whether it would require and ambulance or not, but had settled on trying to carry me to the car).

Caleb, being a very decisive person had had enough of all the back and forth and offered some helpful input.

"If you can't find someone to do the surgery, we can just put you in the bathtub, give you something to put you to sleep and Pop, Gram and Dad can cut your knee open."

Grandma and I looked at each other in surprise and Grandma asked, "WHY the BATHTUB?"

"For all the guts and stuff, so they don't spill all over the floor."

RIIIGHT.

I informed him that I already have a good surgeon and he said, "well I'm just saying, 'IN CASE!'"

Keeping Mom Humble

In the restroom stall at Target, Caleb is belting out, "ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND!" over and over. When he comes out and is washing his hands, a friendly woman next to us, says to him, "You have a great singing voice. Do you get that from your Mom?"

[matter of factly] "No."

The woman gives me an embarrassed sort of smile and I just smile back with an, "No worries, I'm used to it," expression.

Caleb continues, "I get it from my DAD! He plays the guitar. I learned all my tones from him."

If You Ever Need an Answer to Life's Age Old Questions

Caleb was telling me about how some fruit comes from trees. From there he went on to tell me that some animals come from eggs.

"Ah, but which came first, the chicken or the egg?" I mused teasingly.

"THE EGG, OF COURSE!" He pronounced with decisive conviction. "Why do you say that?"

I explained that it's a question people have long debated over.

"Well, if they want to know that, they should just go to a farm." It was said in that, "well, DU-U-UH!" tone of voice.

I thought to myself, sometimes I wish I had that confidence. I told Joseph about it and he probed Caleb a bit that evening.

"Yeah, but where where did the first egg come from?"

"A chicken."

"So where did that chicken come from?"

"An egg."

"And that egg?"

"A chicken. And so on and so forth."

"So where did the first chicken come from then?"

"A ROOSTER, OF COURSE!"

Well, yes, it would all go back to the male, in a Caleb world, wouldn't it?

No Flattery Here

Elizabeth: "I love you, you're so cute."

Caleb: "You too."

Elizabeth: "And you're so smart."

Caleb: "You too."

Elizabeth (mildly surprised): "Thanks."

Caleb (after a brief pause): "Well, no."

[He then went on to describe something that I had done that "proved" how not so smart I was. I'm blanking on what it was. Honestly, I am. If I remember, I'll add it later.]

Can We Say No Lack of Self-Esteem Here?

Joseph and Caleb were tossing a mini Nerf football back and forth. According to Joseph, he was finding it challenging to not throw it over Caleb's head and Caleb's tosses kept landing just short of Joseph. I was a little ways away in the dog park with Abe but what I overheard went something like this:

Caleb: "My throws are better than yours because my arms are stronger."

Joseph: "Oh really?"

Caleb: "Yeah, because your muscles are all old and used up. Because you use them for work and stuff. My muscles are young and so they are FRESH and so that's why I'm able to throw it faster and further."

He Not Only Knows WHAT He Wants to Be, He Knows WHY

At the dog park, another dog owner mentioned her dog was part German Shepherd. Caleb commented that that's the kind of dog the police use. She asked him if he wanted to be a police officer.

Caleb: "No, I want to be an Army general."

Lady: "ARMY? WHY?!"

[I gathered this woman had some negative experiences with soldiers. ;)]

Caleb: "Pfft. YOU KNOW!"

Me: "Caleb, that's a disrespectful way to speak to a grown up and no, she doesn't know why you want to be an Army general. She's never met you before and so she doesn't know anything about you. That's why she's asking." [ACK!]

Caleb: "Because I have a warrior spirit."